My Experience at Vipassana Meditation Courses (camp of silence)

I just returned from a Goenka Vipassana meditation course – those famous camps of silent – and I feel I need to share my experience. I think my story could be useful for those who are considering such a step or are simply interested in this practice.

What are these courses?

First of all – what are these courses? They are 10-day intensive meditation sessions where complete silence is maintained. Yes – 10 days of silence, without a phone, without books, without any contact with the outside world. You wake up at four in the morning and meditate all day. Some meditation courses last even longer, but the standard one is exactly 10 days.

Vipassana meditation center (camp of silence)

First Challenges: Sleep and Discipline

One of the most striking things – the need for sleep simply evaporates. I normally sleep 8 hours per night, but during the last course I slept only 4 hours and felt great. This is a very common phenomenon during meditation – when the mind is deeply focused, you simply don’t need as much sleep. I didn’t know about this before starting, and only after it ended, when I shared my experience with other, more experienced meditators, they joked that it was completely normal.

However, I must warn you – these courses have certain strangely cult-like features. Although they are advertised as not associated with any religion, there are many strict rules. In my first course I was reprimanded for wearing shorts in the hall – my knees were visible, and that was not allowed. In a later course I was reprimanded for how I walked. You must be completely silent.

Difficulties

I understand that a certain order is necessary, but – sometimes it really resembles a cult. There are strict rules that you must follow. For example, they don’t want you to leave early. If they see that you’re having mental difficulties, they’ll let you leave, but otherwise they’ll try to convince you to stay.

In the first course I sat at the back of the hall because I requested a chair (men sit on the left side, women – on the right). During those 10 days, 80 percent of the men gradually disappeared – they simply left the course. And that’s understandable, because it’s REALLY difficult.

You get into cycles of negative thoughts from which you can’t escape, because there are no external distractions, as in normal life. Suddenly you realize: “I’ve been using devices my whole life that distract my attention to escape from negative thoughts and emotions, and now I don’t have that option.”

Be prepared that it will be difficult. I cried at both courses. During the last one I cried in the hall – I really cried like a baby. It’s emotionally very, very difficult. A real psychological challenge.

Physical Challenge

It’s not only emotionally difficult – it’s also a physically difficult experience. Sitting many hours per day is really tricky. There are so-called “strong determination sessions” where you sit for an hour and can’t move. It’s very painful.

The Right Mindset

Go to the course with the mindset that you can always improve, always overcome difficulties, and that whatever happens, it will be okay. Don’t think about experiences as “bad” or “toxic”. Think about them as “challenging” – as obstacles that need to be overcome on the way forward.

Risk and Benefit

There are studies conducted that show that a certain number of people practicing intensive meditation encounter serious mental health problems – not permanently, but at least for several weeks or months after the course. It’s something similar to psychosis.

In Buddhist communities they say: “No mud – no lotus” or “If a tree reaches for heaven, its roots must reach to hell.” These sayings convey the idea that you have to go through a lot of suffering, pain, and processing difficult emotions to get the benefits of meditation.

Yes, there will be “casualties” – as in any activity. If you train in the gym, lift weights or try to become a faster runner – a certain number of people will get injured, even though the activity is essentially beneficial. It’s dangerous if you look at extreme cases. But I don’t think that should deter you from sports, and I don’t think it should deter you from meditation. It’s simply part of the process.

Like everything valuable in life, you have to go through pain. The gym-goers’ motto “No pain, no gain” is true – and it’s applicable to meditation.

The Power of the Technique

The technique itself is miraculous. It’s incredibly powerful. I know I sound like a preacher, but I think many people simply have this idea that the only way to a good life is to earn more money, get a prestigious job, climb the career ladder, become popular, have a big house and lots of material success.

The technique shows that your life doesn’t have to be completely dependent on the story you tell yourself in your head. The reason why those material things seem so valuable – they improve your internal state. Life is much easier when you can say: “I’m richer than my neighbor, I’ve achieved so much, I’m proud of myself.” When there are positive thoughts in your head – life is good.

But the other side of the coin is that if you rely on that story, when there are struggles happening in your head – you’ll have a bad life. If you think: “Why did that person talk to me like that?”, “Why was I fired from work?”, “How will I pay the bills?” – if you think these negative or stressful thoughts, your life will be bad.

Meditation as Another Path

Meditation simply gives you another path – to leave that story, just observe it, see it as it is – arising as just another object of consciousness – and find peace regardless of the story you’re running.

I know this sounds abstract. But when you just observe that story as it really is, and see it, it’s as if you had been immersed in a terrible theatrical performance – a Shakespeare play – sitting in the auditorium, completely absorbed in the action, feeling all the negative emotions, seeing characters die. And suddenly you see that you’re sitting outside the performance, and it’s just a beautiful performance in front of you.

That’s what Vipassana is – “clear seeing”. And it’s wonderful because the goal of meditation is not to get rid of thoughts. And that means you can meditate constantly – in the shower, while eating, sitting, filming videos. If I pay attention, I can actively meditate and see the stream of thoughts.

Is It Worth It?

That would summarize my thoughts about meditation: huge benefits, but it doesn’t come without risks.

Should you attend such a course? I would simply do it if you’re interested in the nature of the mind, if you want to delve into your thoughts or about this life. That’s what motivated me – interest in this world and experience as it is. There are many misleading ways to perceive the world that you cut through with meditation. I was motivated by the pursuit of truth, not the pursuit of well-being.

Last Day – Loving-Kindness Meditation

On the last day you practice a different technique, called loving-kindness meditation or “metta” meditation. This is one of the most valuable things about the course.

You sit and all day focus your attention on all beings in the world, wishing them well, cultivating feelings of benevolence and good wishes toward them. You wish them happiness and peace, you wish that they be free from suffering. You feel it deeply in the core of your being.

And you cultivate this feeling not only for people you like, but also for people you don’t like – people who have hurt you, who have harmed you.

On that day you hear crying and tears spreading through the hall – not only from the women’s side, but also from the men’s side. And it’s not just narrow-minded “hippies” crying. It’s strong men and strong women, overcoming so much resentment, hostility they felt toward other people, and simply letting it go. It’s such a liberating experience.

Before traveling to India – get information about the country!